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Honors Stress Dreams

Last night I had a dream that it was the week of the biggest event at work. Which makes sense since it is, in fact, the week of the biggest event at work. In addition to the concert, there is also a dinner for 1,900 in the Grand Foyer. It’s not small potatoes.

Earlier this week, I had a dream that we just forgot to set up the dinner tables which we figured out about 5 minutes before the dinner was set to start. For reference, the load in of the tables themselves takes about 6 hours and this doesn’t count the flowers and the flatware and the glasses and the menu cards and the chairs which takes another 10 hours or so. Luckily we figured out that we had set up the tables in another part of the building and outside in the parking lot.

Other Honors-related dreams have involved forgetting it was the event day and over-sleeping, trying to set up 200 tables while children ran up and down the foyer, and, also this week, dreaming that I was arrested during the performance for holding a very large quantity of pot.

Last night’s addition to the long list of crazy began with me striking up a new relationship with my high school boyfriend. For whatever reason, he owned a house out in the woods and we were having a weekend party. During my actual dream, I had another dream where something sparked my memory that somehow we had accidentally booked two events in a space near the Honors theater the day before the Honors. I woke up (still in the dream) with a start and called my coworker to confirm the double-booking.

“C!” I yelled into the phone “We booked an education event in the SOTL at 2:30 on Saturday!” “I know” she responded. “Yes, but we also booked Justin Bieber’s birthday party at the same time in the same place!” “Shit!” “Plus, Bieber’s event has 800 people and the education event has 434!” “But the space only holds 120!” “I know!”

Then we laughed because certainly security would allow 1,234 people including a tiny Canadian pop star and all of his friends into a space that holds 120 the day before the biggest annual event in Kennedy Center history.

So, who’s stressed?

EAGLE!!

Last night I had a dream that I was Mindy Kaling.  Sometimes.  For some of the dream, I was her and for other parts of the dream, I could see her.  And for some reason she had a neck tattoo of the Nescafe logo.  But sometimes I had the neck tattoo of the Nescafe logo. 

In my dream, we were in high school and we were at a Friday night football game.  Dressed as mascots. Which were bald eagles.  We were officially sanctioned mascots but we ran out onto the field where there was a parade lining up.  For some reason, there were a bunch of other mascots there mostly in over-sized taco and gyro costumes.  So, being the comediennes that we are, we began to chase the large food items up and down the parade route trying to eat them.  Naturally, this was hilarious. The crowd loved us so we continued to give chase throughout the field where the game had mysteriously started.  Even the footballers loved us!

The moral of this dream is to never underestimate the power of love. Or that of giant foam bald eagles chasing and pecking at giant foam hot dogs.

 

EAGLE!!!

Yeah, like that would ever happen.

Last night I had a dream that I was on time for work.

And the Golden Globe goes to…

Last night, I had a dream that I was a famous actress on a hit AMC TV show that rhymes with Dad Den.  I was attending a Golden Globes-type event where I went to a backstage red carpet area with many photographers.  One particular photographer told me that she loved my outfit and a quick step and repeat turned into a full on photo shoot.

During the photo shoot, Photographer kept making me do these bizarre poses that you would normally find in a high-fashion rag. After a few wide shots, we did some close-ups when she switched to a 35mm point and shoot film camera that my grandmother owned in the late 90s.  I became a little uncomfortable and this is when Photographer started to call me names and tell me that I should appreciate everything that I had and I should stop being such a big baby about everything.

At this point, my Publicist came in and started arguing with Photographer.  In utter awkwardness, Publicist grabbed me and led me from the room.

Cut to the actual awards seating which was located in what looked like an unfinished hotel ballroom with floor to ceiling windows where the stage should be.  I walked to the front because (naturally) I was in the front row.  Photographer was there and started pretending that we were the bestest of friends and showed me that we were sitting together.  Publicist came up behind us and Photographer told her that she was sitting someplace else (which turned into the same row but just further down.) This is also when I noticed that we were not sitting in theater-style rows but rather in what looked to be a college lecture hall.

Publicist became angry and left to go to the bathroom.  I followed her telling her that I would meet her at the bar.  I walked up to the bar and ordered a vodka soda and a glass of red wine.  Upon looking up, I saw that the bartender was none other than Photographer.  She smiled an evil smile and told me that my order came to $29.50.  I said “For wine?”  She said “Yours is actually $29 but I like to add the $.50 to bitches.”

I dug into my wallet and pulled out a ten and a bunch of ones and threw them at Bartender.

Then, I woke up.

Let’s start again!

It’s been two years since my last post not counting the last last post entitled And I Didn’t Dream for Two Years.

This post is entirely misleading.

I’ve definitely dreamt in the last two years and even more so in the last two months but let’s back up.

When I was officially diagnosed with Hypnagogic Hallucinations my neurologist put me on two medications: an anti-depressant and Ambien.  The anti-depressant was to suppress the dreams and the Ambien was obvious.  I am still on the anti-depressant (which for some reason my Pharmacy has two monthly prescriptions for me so I somehow ended up with a 4-month supply in an overflowing orange bottle) and I remained on the Ambien up until the beginning of last month.  For those of you keeping track at home, we’re looking at about 4 years straight (more or less) of Ambien – a drug which has known side effects such as vomiting, euphoria, disphoria, and hallucinations.  Helpful.

Prior to my decision to stop taking the Ambien, I had spent the last year in a bit of a fog.  Falling asleep was still difficult and waking up in the morning was near impossible.  After meeting with Brain Doctor, he recommended that I go on yet another drug which would counter-act the effects of the Ambien. No, not caffeine. After my insurance refused to pay for this drug, I decided I should try Something New!

In this instance, Something New included stopping the Ambien altogether.

I knew that falling asleep would be difficult for a while but I didn’t realize how hard the Ambien was hitting me each night because, oh boy, did the dreams come back. And how.

Since stopping Ambien, I have had the following dreams:

1. I dreamt that I was living in a world with zombies.  I was a survivor living in a two story house with other people that didn’t seem to understand how zombies worked because each time someone was bit and then died, they would bring them into the house.  I kept telling them that this was a bad plan but no one would listen to me thus creating many more zombies. I finally escaped in a red convertable with a man who definitely represented Daryl Dixon.

2. I dreamt that I was participating in The Color Run only instead of it being a nice warm summer day, we were running this race in the dead of winter. I remember thinking “Oh, this is cool! Now the colored powder will show up even better in the snow!”  I ran the race with some co-workers and after we were finished we returned to a house that we had been renting where our room was the size of a regular bathroom but had all of our furniture piled up so we had to climb over dressers and through piles of clothes to get to our beds.

3. I dreamt I was fishing.  That’s it, Just fishing.

4. Another dream about zombies.

5. Another dream about The Color Run only this time it was at a boy scout camp located on the Bayou where there were many different races going on at the same time.  My friend C was there and had signed up for a different race so I told her to change to my race.  My other friends S and H were there to run The Color Run but I had to pee so I told them to go ahead.  While I was in the bathroom cabin, I heard that the race had started.  I ran out and somehow made it to the start line.  I started to run and came up to a crazy tree house obstacle course that was set over water. I made it up the first rope ladder and realized I was now on a boat dock.  I climbed into a water taxi and saw my friends.  We rode the water taxi until we were along side a rhinocerous with a frat boy riding on his back.  At this point we were allowed to cross the finish line and we were all given a consolation prize of a floor-length, down, day-glo orange winter coat.

6. I dreamt that I was on a cruise with Hubs, J, and L only instead of looking like a Carnival Cruise Ship it looked more like the set for the Titanic (The Movie).  At one point I was running furiously through the ship to my cabin (310) and when I got there, the entire hallway was roped off with yellow police caution tape.  I jumped over it and ran into the room just in time to see another boat pulling away from a neighboring dock. I ran out into the ballroom and realized we were in the middle of an ice storm.  This dream ends here.

7. More zombies, some robots, a few small rodents and a circus.

And, of course, a hallucination…

8. In my sleep I somehow (IRL) turned myself sideways on the bed so my head was hanging off the side.  The hallucination occured when I yelled to Husband that we had somehow pushed the bed away from the wall and everything was starting to get sucked into a black hole.  I finally woke up enough to realize that I was actually pushing my own pillow under my nightstand when I looked up and slammed my head into said nightstand.  I righted myself, fell asleep, and woke up an hour later to Tiny Cat puking on our brand new bed.

I have decided to continue life without the Ambien if for no other reason than I’m having a much easier time remembering in the morning where I parked my car the night before. Except for last night. But I blame that on the convertable sofa that was mistakenly delivered to our house yesterday.

Now, where does this leave me?

The good news – I’m no longer a walking around in an Ambien hangover during the day.

The bad news – I’m still not quite to a full night of sleep since the Ambien is what had been keeping me unconscious each night so I’m a bit tired during the day – much like every other human being on the planet.

The best news is – I should have plenty more fancy dreams for the blog so stay tuned!

And I didn’t dream for two years

Last night I had a dream that Husband, Wonderful Friend J, and I were at the DMV.  In Virginia. Then we were at the DMV in New York.  Getting another license.

Sugar and Beer

Last night I had a dream that I was somewhere crowded with my dad, grandfather, and sister.  We were all sitting around when suddenly my grandfather stopped and fell over.  As he was falling he reached into a secret pocket in the leg of his pants and pulled out a roll of smarties.  “He’s diabetic” said my father.  “Well, he should eat these smarties then!” I responded and we began to feed him smarties. 

Suddenly, all of this was happening inside my grandfather’s house instead of outside. 

Next, I was in a fancy dress at a theater which was located inside of a mall.  We were watching the performance when 8 of us (including the director or the play and an old coworker) needed to go to the bathroom.  We jumped up at the scene break and ran out of the theater into the mall and past an Auntie Anne’s pretzel stand.  After we finished we tried to go back into the theater but were each turned away at the door, including my coworker who was wearing a gold lame dress with “who dat” written on the ass.  (I know exactly where this came from: during the Marine Corps Marathon on Halloween I spent about 5 miles running behind a girl in this exact outfit.)

After realizing that we wouldn’t make it into see the rest of the show we started to walk around the mall. A mall that, much like my hometown, consisted of a few shoe stores, the aforementioned pretzel stand and one restaurant.  I’m 99% sure that this “mall” was a replica of the “mall” in downtown Silver Spring, MD. 

After walking around I realized that I wanted a beer so I headed back to the tiny concession stand near the theater and ordered a Blue Moon.  As I reached for my purse, I realized that I didn’t have it with me.  I remembered that I had left it in a store and frantically ran back to grab it.  I saw it on the back of a chair and saw that not only was it open but there was $7 in cash sticking out of the top of it.

I ran back to the concession stand and repeated my order. 

“Oh” said the older woman behind the counter who looked a little like Jay Sherman’s make up artist from The Critic.  “Can you fax your order to me?” 

“Um, what?” I said.

“I need you to fax your drink order to me. The something something something isn’t working” 

“But…I’m standing right here.  Can’t you just give me the beer and I give you money?”

“No.  You need to go back to the bus and fax the order to me from your bus.”

And I woke up thinking about Mitch Hedberg trying to buy a donut.