And then there were day-glo spiders.

Last night was a whirlwind of Husband coughing so loudly that he woke us both up three times, three weird mini dreams, and a hallucination about gigantic day-glo spiders. 

First, the mini dreams.

1. I dreamt that I had a baby.  Or rather a toddler that looked like a baby. The ToddlerBaby made its presence known by running up the bed and throwing its arms around me.  I remember feeling happy that I had this being but then immediately upset because Husband was going to work and hadn’t told me to find a sitter.  ToddlerBaby then became incredibly small and started crawling underneath a set of dressers that we do not own while chasing the cat.  Husband and I watched for a minute, impressed by the general speed of ToddlerBaby and also its ability to be small enough not to smash its head on the bottom of the drawers.  Husband left soon after us having an discussion about the number of times ToddlerBaby has been left at home alone.  “Only for a little while” was the general consensus. I was debating sending out a Facebook post asking for sitters in my neighborhood before I realized that I wouldn’t know the person and thus wouldn’t trust them with ToddlerBaby.  The house suddenly became quiet and I realized (or rather tried to convince myself) that I never had a ToddlerBaby and could therefore go to work.  I slowly walked down the stairs mimicking the scene in The Hobbit where Bilbo tries to figure out what the dwarfs are doing in his house but he doens’t want to draw attention to himself. 

2. I dreamt there was a bird in the house.  I saw it fly from the living room into the office out of the corner of my eye.  When I looked at it, it was a small sparrow-type bird sitting on the hanging light fixture.  I remembered a time when we had birds in the old movie theater where I used to work and thought “I need to get a towel.”  I ran to get the towel and was able to catch the bird that had now morphed into a large pigeon with a damaged foot.  I carried the bird outside and released it.

3. Upon waking up this morning, I realized that I felt rather under the weather, unsurprising since my house has been home to some sort of evil mutant flu/cold/cough bug since late last week.  After Husband left for work, I promptly fell back asleep and dreamt that I was debating calling in sick to work but arguing with myself since a client assured me that she would come to the building at 10am to drop off a check.  At the time of writing this, it is now 11am on the nose and she has yet to arrive.  In my dream, I finally woke up at 11:10am and texted Boss Man to tell him I could be late.  In reality, I woke up at 8:49am and made it work by 9:35am. 

Now, the hallucination.

Since Husband has been sick since last week and I started to get the tickle in my throat last night, I decided that I would try to knock myself out with some Nyquil.  It helped in the sense that I fell asleep about 15 minutes after getting into bed. A record for me! It didn’t help in the sense that I woke up a few minutes later thinking there were giant hairy spiders crawling on the wall above my head.  Huge spiders.  I grabbed my pillows and sat in the middle of the bed trying to convince Husband that the spiders were there.  I grabbed my phone and pointed it at the wall like a flashlight.  Naturally, the spiders became invisible with the light but when I put my phone back down, I could see them again.  One of them was black as night against my navy blue wall but the other one started to glow in the dark.  I started to get aggitated and told Husband that I was going to turn on the light.  He told me not to turn on the light but I did anyway, sure that I would prove him wrong about the spiders.  I proved him right and then returned, dejected, to my pile of pillows in the middle of the bed.  After a few terrifying minutes, I decided that even if the spiders existed, they were now hiding somewhere else in the house and I could safely, albeit hesitantly, go back to sleep.

Which I did. For about an hour until Husband started to cough in his sleep.  He coughed so hard and so long* that he woke me up and then himself up and then told me that he coughed so hard and so long that he woke himself up.  Repeat two more times. 

And such is the life of a narcoleptic with hypnangogic hallucinations and her Husband who refuses to go to the doctor to get real cough medicine.

 

 

 

*That’s what she said.

 

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