Last night I had a dream that Angelina Jolie wanted to adopt me.
It was terrifying.
Early this morning in my sleep I knocked a glass of water onto the floor. It shocked me awake and in my bumbling sleepiness, I decided to get another glass. I stumbled out to my parents kitchen, poured the water and then walked back to the bathroom. After using the bathroom, I walked out and closed the door behind me and headed back to the bedroom.
As I walked into the room, I bumped into something that sounded like a television. I reached my hand out and realized that it was a television. Knowing that I was very tired and full of breadsticks, french toast and hot cheese cubes I thought “Oh maybe I just didn’t see that Dad had carried a television into the bedroom for Husband and I to watch. That was nice of him” until I heard a voice say “Lindsey, what’s wrong?” Pause.
“What?” I said.
“What are you doing?” my sister repeated. I heard her husband shuffle a bit and looking around the room it finally dawned on me.
“Shit!” I exclaimed in a sleepy stupor “I’m in the wrong room!”
I apologized to them both as my sister said “It’s cool.” I could hear my sister smiling as much as one can when awoken by their older sister wandering around their room as they are sound asleep.
After closing the door to my high school bedroom (where Sister and Brother-in-Law were sleeping) I headed back to the room I was sharing with my husband (aka my Sister’s high school bedroom.) Still a bit befuddled, I climbed back into bed and tried to go back to sleep.
Turns out, it’s hard to sleep if you are giggling in silent hysterics every few minutes.
Last night I had a dream in which I was a spy. I think. I’m honestly not sure what happened. Intercut with scenes of my office and coworkers was basically a Kristen Bell espionage movie.
In the first scene, I was in a small European town and I was with a man with whom I believe I had had a romantic encounter prior to the beginning of the “movie.” He dropped me off outside of a restaurant and told me to go with another tall lanky European man with strange hair. I followed this second man because I thought he would help me. I believe I was running from something or maybe Man Number 1 was running from something and I was now an accessory?
Either way, I followed Man Number 2 through the street and suddenly he yelled to me to go to the brown car on the street. I didn’t see a brown car so I ran to a tan one and asked “This one?” I saw that he was trying to open the car door muttering something about “I just need to see if I can take anything from this car.” Inside the car hanging from the ignition were the car keys. I decided not to tell him about this fact.
Man Number 2 finally gave up trying to break into the car, and walked up to the restaurant. He rang the doorbell and someone came to open the door for him. I remember that it was early morning and the restaurant wasn’t yet open. I followed him down the stairs as he ran up to the manager and started frantically speaking in another language.
At this point I thought to myself “I don’t think I want to be here when whatever goes down goes down.” So I thanked him and turned and ran up the stairs. I know that he was trying to stop me, but I kept running. I ran out into the street and hailed a taxi.
A bright orange taxi pulled over to the side and the driver motioned to me and another woman in a fur coat on the other side of the street. I ran to the taxi with the other woman and we both noticed that there was already a woman in the cab. The driver said “No, come! It’s fine! I know where you’re going!” which I found interesting since I hadn’t a clue where I was headed other than the airport. At this moment I realized that I was in London because I told the driver that I was headed “to the airport” but that I “didn’t know if it was Gatwick or Heathrow.”
As I pulled out my cell phone to call my coworker, the woman to my left said with a sigh “it’s fine, I’ll just go the Ritz then.”
Suddenly I was back in my office where our Intern was meeting us all for lunch. I thought “That’s strange because she moved back to Nebraska.”
Cut back to the spy dream where I found myself sitting on a bench with Kristen Bell. I think we were enemies but we might have been lovers, I’m not totally sure. We were arguing about something but also agreeing about something.
Jump cut to me in a hotel room with Man Number 1. In this scene, I know that he is a spy and that we are enemies because I have slipped something into his coffee. He’s becoming woozy and stumbling around. I have a sense of glee about this, but I am also watching the scene from afar (and seeing myself as Kristen Bell) and I am upset because I feel something (love? fondness?) towards this man. I’m torn between wanting to finish my job and wanting to be with him.
At the end of the dream, I was riding in a taxi with some emo or Simon & Garfunkel song playing in the background as I look longingly out of the window.
Fin.
Last night I definitely dreamt that Husband was walking around wearing a silver skirt, black rock band t-shirt and my grey sweater.
Last night I had a dream that I was in Greece…or Italy…somewhere with a Mediteranian coast. I was there with Husband, Father-in-Law, Sister-in-Law, and SIL’s boyfriend. We were walking around a castle and as we walked into a patio area, we realized that it was full of water. Apparently this was completely expected by everyone else so we moved forward into the neck-deep water.
Suprisingly, there was a current in the water so it was very difficult for me to move. My family went along ahead of me and I struggled with the water. I finally caught up with them only to be faced with another patio that was also full of water. This time it was only waist deep.
We moved through this patio easily and came out on the other side into a room which I believe was the Golden Circles Lounge at the Kennedy Center. A few of my coworkers were there and I realized that we were all dressed alike**
**This is not a rare occurence at my place of work. Much like our menstrual cycles, our wardrobes have started to sync up. I have a Facebook photo album called “When Matching Goes Bad” and it has all of the photos of various groupings in my office when we were all dressed alike. I should put the dates on them because there was one week where there were two days that we were in black pants, a white shirt, and a jean jacket. And one girl was in both shots. But I digress.
I wanted one coworker to take a picture of us dressed alike so I handed her my iPhone. SIL also wanted to get a picture of us dressed alike (all in black dresses with flowers and a black sweater). We posed and the photos were taken. My other coworker handed me back my phone and I tried to look at the photos.
Suddenly I became very dizzy and disoriented and couldn’t quite make out what I was looking at. I started to flip through the photos and instead of a posed picture of us, there was a photo of one of my coworkers in a fun-house still mirrored room where there were easily 10 copies of her. I thought to myself “Well this should totally go in When Matching Goes Bad because all of her reflections are wearing the same outfit!” I’m a genuis, what can I say.
I looked up and realized that my family had wandered off without me. I started to follow them but found that I was holding a large framed painting. Only it wasn’t a painting. It was my iPhone. I started to push the buttons and discovered that it worked like my iPhone. I again started to flip through my photos as I was walking….which was incredibly difficult as this “painting” was about 2 feet wide.
I caught up with Husband at the first water patio and told him that I wouldn’t be able to make it across carrying this huge painting. He said “No, it will be fine. Just carry above your head.” Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?
Um, no.
I decide that it would be much safer for my amazing artwork if I walk along the wet stone walls surrounding the patios. So I start to walk and amazingly make it all the way around the first patio. I walk up to the second patio and walk along the edge where I see that there are two girls standing in the water pointing at something dark in the water. I strain to see what they see and realize it’s a shark.
I yell to them to get out of the water and suddenly they disappear. I look across the patio and see Husband standing there looking out a window. I tell him that he needs to run because there’s a shark in the water. He looks down just as the shark swims past him and bumps his leg. Through the splashing of the water I see that a blue-green spot is forming on Husband’s shin. I also see that instead of gills, the shark has a second mouth on the side of its head.
Husband jumps out of the water and blue-green bruise is gone but now there is a bite mark on his foot. We walk away from the area and jump in a cab. Husband isn’t in any pain and we see that the bite mark has completely healed but has left a scar on his foot.
And then we were in an attic and I was completely upset that I had lost my painting. So if anyone sees a really big painting on an iPhone where the buttons actually work and it has all of my photos and apps on it, let me know! Thanks!
Last night I dreamt a full episode of Mad Men. This comes three days after I dreamt another full episode of Mad Men. Funny thing though, these episodes haven’t been written. Probably because the one last night involved me and a coworker pretending to be Peggy and Joan (respectively). And we were in a musical. Singing to Don. “Joan” was singing about how her name was really “Lauren.”
And then I woke up with a Rhianna song in my head.
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike
Published November 14, 2009 Uncategorized Leave a CommentLast night I had a dream that I was in a cheerleading group which was led by my coworker, Dan. We practiced our routine and Dan was incredibly unhappy about how it went. He began to speak in French to us and then all of the sudden 30 bicycles appeared in completely straight lines five by six.
I was just astounded by the bicycles arriving and the perfection of their order but no one else was. What can I say, I love order.
Did I mention that all of the bikes were pink? Yeah, they were.
We all jumped on the bikes and started to ride them around a new housing development. Dan was in the front with a member of the troupe with me riding lazily behind him.
Suddenly, I was alone and I was riding around my parent’s neighborhood.
Just as suddenly, I was inside a building taking a science class. The building definitely looked like my junior high school but I believe it was standing in for my college.
As the class ended, I hopped on my bike and rode down the hallway to the elevator. I took the elevator down to the main level where it opened up to a basketball court. But it wasn’t just any basketball court, it was a basketball court with a rope mesh floor – kind of like a hammock.
I rode around the outside of the mesh floor back to the elevator which now looked like the Old Post Office Pavillion. I got back on the elevator and now inside were three guys that I went to high school with whom I haven’t spoken to in 12 years. I don’t think I’m even Facebook friends with them.
And then I was in a department store buying a bedspread.
Last night I had a hallucination that someone was trying to hit me over the head with a French Horn.
Last night I had a dream that Dad called me to tell me that he was bringing Grandpa to DC. I kept asking him when but all he would say was “We’re on our way.” From Ohio. Western Ohio. 40 minutes from Indiana Ohio.
For some reason, I was working at a theater that was having a Bruce Springsteen concert that evening and I knew that Dad would want to come to see the show. Only it wasn’t just Springsteen. It was a show that had been transplanted from Las Vegas so it had performers from Cirque du Soleil. Only they were the reject performers from Cirque. They looked like linebackers hanging from little wires.
All of the sudden, Dad appeared next to me and asked why the performers on the wires were so bad. I told him that they couldn’t swing due to the lighting system.
Then we were standing in the back of the house looking for Grandpa who was talking to Wolf Blitzer.
I have three tattoos. I’ve been meaning to get more but I just haven’t gotten around to it. Last night I dreamt that I got a weird tie-dye Ra symbol on my left wrist, three tiny black stars on my left palm, a very strange thing that looked like a Magic: The Gathering card on my left thigh and another mix of all these tattoos on my left hip.
Apparently my next tattoo is supposed to go somewhere on the left side of my body.
